Feelin' lost...

Ya know, things are going great.Justin and I just celebrated our 1 year anniversary, I have a job that helps me pay the bills, but I still feel lost... I am trying so hard to get into my field and so far, things keep falling through. I had gone on an audition and received the e-mail that I got the job. Now, 4 weeks later, I have yet to recieve anything more.. So, I guess I do not have the job. So, I have always struggled with self-confidence and now I kinda feel like I am sinking again.. I don't want to be depressed and unhappy because I really am not! But, I know that my confidence will goup and I will be a happier person when I find something that I love to do. I want to fit in. I don't feel like I fit in at work. So, I guess in the end, that is why I feel lost. I don't really feel that anyone in the office would care if I left or if anything happened to me. If you know of anyone that needs assistance in the communications field, please let me know. Anyway, I feel a little better now that I kinda got a few of my feelings out..

Well today is Valentine's Day.. The normal day has occured so far. Got up this morning, had a conference call for about 45 minutes, came into work, and I just got finished drinkin' my morning' coffee and now I feel like writing. You know, Valentine's Day is one of those holidays that you either love or you absolutely hate it. I am actually kind of in between-I like the fact of knowing that the person I love is thinking about me, but I hate it when         people take things too far and think that today  is about spending a lot of money on materialistic things. I am simple. Yes, dinner, a movie, or presents are great, but doesn't it seem like people kind of get caught up? Why do people feel like they need to spend so much money?  I think getting to spend some quality time, no matter what it may be, with your significant other is amazing. Justin asked me to lunch for today.  I guess the fact that he even thought about the occassion means a lot to me.. So yes, I like Valentine's Day. Our 1 year anniversary is 2 weeks from today and I am much more excited about that than anything...That is going to be our "Valentine's Day" that we get to share together. We are both working on our anniversary, but he has planned a weekend getaway and I have no idea where we are going. We will be leaving on March 1st..  I should be writing again soon to let you know what happened. 

As far as me, well, life has been ok. Work is a little bit slow right now, but at least I have a job that helps me pay my bills and put a roof over my head I can't complain really..I am still pursuing a job in my field and am hoping that comes sooner than later.  Anyway, I really hope y'all have an amazing day! God Bless.

So, things have been going pretty well lately.. Justin n I are doing amazing as usual.   The sad thing is the fact that my friend Mike Halwe passed away this morning.. If you ever went to St. Charles Lanes then you probably saw him when he was working in the pro shop.  He was a good guy who would help anyone who asked..  He helped me with bowling, was always nice, supportive, and made me feel accepted even when no one else would.. I am really glad that he is not suffering anymore though. Again, this is another instance that makes me realize how much  I really care and love my family, friends, and Justin...  I don't want to fight with anyone and leave it unsettled, I don't want to hate anyone, I want to be more loving,caring, and supportive. It always amazes me that it takes something tragic to make us take a step back and realize how much we appreciate everything we have....

RIP: MIke Halwe... You will be missed..

I am kinda tryin' to get back into the swing of things and write on here more often. I don't have a lot to report right now though. Justin signs for his condo Thursday, his 24th b-day is on Friday, and I am SO EXCITED for him!!!  Work is still goin' pretty good. I start mentoring on Wednesday for the Casino Host position. Basically, if I were to want/get the job, I would have a lot more responsibility,prob work a lil more, and make a lot more money! So, that is obviously a plus. Things with Justin are amazing! Next Friday will be 7 months and counting. I finally am beginning to bowl a lot better! I still bowl in a Thursday night league so it is nice to come in and feel like you did a decent job on your way out.  I know I have said this before, but I am tired of trying and trying to be there for someone as a friend and them blowing me off. In fact, they prob still talk crap about me..and that is unfortunate because I will stay say, to this day, that they are a good person... I guess it is time to "give up" on a few ppl in my life and just let it go. I am going to wait and see if they ever want to speak again. I am done trying to be the nice one. I will be cordial, but I am not going to go out of my way to be nice to them anymore... Anyway, this was all just a bunch of randomness..Till next time...